Baby's leaving me

WTF?

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Here's the story with my cable and internet accounts getting suspended:

I didn't know that the bills would be separate (phone/cell/long distance and U-verse). I received a U-verse bill that I paid to AT&T erroneously, because the old account number was set up in the bank's bill pay. Received a past due notice from U-verse. Was told by a few people that I didn't owe, but had a credit. Because of the confusing automated phone system, I could never reliably get to the person I needed to speak with, and ended up with AT&T instead of U-verse. (Plus, I got hung up on more than once.) Then I finally had to get AT&T and U-verse on a conference call Tuesday evening to straighten all this out because they do not have access to the other's info on my accounts. I had to pay by credit card, then it took 4 hours for my service to come back up. Otherwise it could have taken days. And now I was told that I cannot get any sort of payment confirmation to print and submit to my employer. Hope the credit card print out is enough. Though I don't like having all the other payments on there for whoever to see.

I have NEVER had a service disconnected, and this is the first time. I am drafting a complaint email (since getting on the phone has been useless). As annoying as this is, Comcast is still in the lead in annoying me. They can still suck it.

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Workout log:
Did nothing on Tuesday and Wednesday. Because I lost my workout partners and was PMSing and sleepy. Yeah, that's it. I went to both classes on Thursday, struggled to keep my energy up. Worked total body Friday night. Nothing Saturday or Sunday.

Was going to go to both classes on Saturday, but my plans were changed. I got home Friday night and Jeff wanted to go shooting. Great. He was eager to shoot his new gun(s), and wanted to take advantage of the good weather. He wanted to leave at 11:45, not giving me enough time to get ready after class 1 even if I went. We left after 12:00, anyway. Scottie went with us. I was resentful that this had been sprung on me at the absolute last minute, and didn't know that someone else was going until just before we left. I thought he didn't have anyone else to go with him, so I should go. I need to stay in practice, sure, but I'd really rather be hitting stuff.

I went and enjoyed myself for the most part. I like to shoot, but I really don't want to do it for hours on end. We were there from 1:00 to 6:00. Ridiculous.

When we got there, the pistol range was closed due to some work they were doing to it. So we shot rifles until about 4:00. The 30-06 and the 308 gave me a bruise on my bicep. The butts of those are larger than the other rifles. I'd never shot those before, either. Of course, I couldn't see whether I was hitting anything, unless the dirt flew. Jeff put the scope on the new gun backwards. Ha. I said, "Is it supposed to look further away?" No one had an allen wrench, so it stayed that way. And I think the M1 is broken. Well, a spring in it. Hopefully not a big deal.

We shot pistols for a couple hours until they closed. At first, Jeff put the target right up against the bank, as he'd been told to do. Everyone else had theirs about halfway up. I'm not used to shooting at that distance, so I hit the ground a few times. An employee who was shooting next to us leaned over and told us we needed to watch for that, or something. I put the gun down. "You're ok, you're ok!" Whatever. I was tired, embarrassed, and pissed. Other people were doing the same thing. And as Jeff pointed out, I didn't have that problem with the revolvers, especially the .357. I am used to aiming low to counteract the kickback, too, but I managed to get it under control after 2-3 rounds. So, fuck that guy. Or, the fat fuck, as Jeff called him.

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The past few days have been hard for me with Baby. She continues to decline. She slowly started to refuse anything other than Jeff's deli sandwich meat. I remembered some baby food I'd bought when Thea wouldn't eat last year. She lapped quite a bit of that up. Now, she's only eating a few licks at a time, if that. She's not even getting up to pee, maybe once a day, if that. I was actually concerned when I scooped the litter boxes Sunday night, and didn't have to clean the tray. Of course, later she peed right in front of the shit house. Another troubling sign. Monday morning, she was sitting by the fountain. I fed her a few bites of the baby food there. She really looked pitiful. I'm wondering if she'll make it the week, and if I'll need to take her in. I'd rather not stress her, unless she looks like she's in distress.

I'm also wondering if I'll be able to take a day (at least) with this project going on at work. I'm working on it alone, and no one has looked at my programs despite many pleas. I am not comfortable with this. It's a federal report, and I need assistance. And when she dies, I'm not sure I can keep it together at work.

On Monday around lunch, I thought about calling to see if Jeff got her to eat. Then I was afraid he'd tell me something bad right before my afternoon meeting (which I'm going to ALONE since my boss is out today recovering from a dental procedure). I'm not sure what he would do if he found her in distress or dead. He may not want to call me at work, knowing I'd be upset and still have to face people and drive home. Would he bury her (or prepare her for burial) and leave me a note? He knows I'd be frantic if I couldn't find her when I got home. Or, would he expect me to call, and then he'd tell me, knowing I was home and not in public? I don't know. We haven't really talked about it. I think he can read me pretty well on this situation. I don't know. None of these scenarios are ideal, certainly. Not sure what I'd prefer. Well, other than a peaceful passing for her.

Thursday:
She cannot get up any more, hasn't since...Tuesday? She will now only drink water. I got some cat milk yesterday, and that went over well...for a day. Now she won't touch it. She will lick the baby food once or twice (once I opened a fresh jar), but that's it. She's continuing to decline.

I worked at home yesterday, and she would call out to me, sometimes when she wet the bed. Today, I'm at home again. Can't work at home twice in a row, so I'm on leave. I want to watch for any signs of distress. She continues to decline. I was thinking I would need something like seizures or obvious distress to signal that it's time, but now, I'm not sure. I'm thinking about whether my vet or a mobile vet would be the best option. One moment I think she's ready to go, the next she crawls over to put her head on my lap (like yesterday). Those moments are getting less frequent, though. Wish I knew what she was thinking.